We got cocky a month ago and decided this whole waiting at the airport thing is dumb. So we timed it all to get there just an hour before our flight. Big mistake. Not because there was a crowd. Late in the day, there isn’t. But we walked up to the counter 50 minutes before departure and were told we were too late. An hour, minimum we were told. As the agent started talking about booking us on the next day’s flight, I pulled Wade out of the bag, made a joke, said we had no checked bags, made another joke and eventually got through. (Note: You cannot do this because you don’t have Wade.) 

The point is, arrive 2 hours early. Which means you have time to kill. Which means the dreaded Cyril E. King cafeteria and bar. The bar part is fine. But not the cafeteria part. Until now! A new cooler that is stocked full of really fresh looking garden salads, spring rolls, and yes it’s true, Sushi. Not great Sushi. But not bad Sushi. Fresh? Just ask. “Fresh dem every day,” says the woman. The label says “prepared fresh by Chef Jean-Philippe, Galli, St Thomas.” We ate it. We liked it. We lived.

This is the one part of island life that we just haven’t been able to fully embrace. It’s like making a rule about when brushing your teeth is acceptable, or just frivolous. And besides, if everybody stuck to this rule, some toilets might go days without flushing. There is a need for flushers, and I am one of them. You follow the rules. I’ll keep heads from getting too disgusting.

(Can you identify the location of this “No #1” reminder?)

Cyril E. King Airport is still operating luggage belts at 50 percent capacity, and that’s not good. People look pale waiting for luggage here. Hot and pale and grumpy. Eliminate the stress. Don’t check bags. 

The state of air travel is horrible these days anyway. As you either know first hand or have read about, or are about to discover, this is the summer from hell for flying. And getting to St. Thomas (or home) is near the top of the horrible-ness list. If there is anything we have become an expert on, it is this very subject. Trust us on this. Travel light. Check in online. Arrive early. And don’t piss off any airline employee because they’re about 50 times as grumpy as you’re going to be. Oh! Actually, a really GOOD Cyril E. King Airport update! (at least as good as an airport update can get.) We’ll get to it in a day or two. (US Airways counter: Washington Reagan National Airport.)

If there’s a yin to Michelle’s yang, it is Boo (even though I don’t know what yin and yang really means.) In this installment of Our Favorite Bartenders, meet the Beach Bar’s Boo. Her real name is Tiffany but don’t tell her we told you that. Boo is a new homeowner too. Ask her about her house. She calls it “Rendez-Boo.” (Get it? French, I think.) Here’s Boo, making her favorite drink, Lime & Coconut!

If you’re a South Shore villa renter who looks out over beautiful Chocolate Hole, you may be in for a shock next time you visit. Like a schnauzer fresh back from the doggy beauty parlor, the Chocolate Hole isthmus between the pond and the bay has one hell of a buzz cut. Work seems spotty. Some days there’s activity. Many days none. Please God, let this turn out beautiful. 

Return of the “Our Favorite Bartenders” feature. Can you say “Boo?” Tomorrow.

First things first. You’ll see a dinghy in this video and NO you cannot get to this beach by dinghy (although Capt’n Josh from Lion in da Sun was pretty impressed when he saw us.) The dinghy was attached to John Brandi’s boat which took us there. That’s the only way you can get here. Charter a boat.

This is Smuggler’s Cove on Tortola. If you’re renting a power boat or doing a sail, you MUST go here. For three reasons. 1. It is a huge beach and you’ll have it almost all to yourself. 2. Stevens. The guy who runs a little makeshift beach bar and powers his blender off his jeep. He’ll grill you up a burger, dog, fish or chicken, and he makes a mean BBC (banana, Bailey’s and coconut.) 3. The Queen’s car! This is where it is. In fact, we’ve decided to rename this The Queen’s Beach. Hope you enjoy the appropriately royal music. Smuggler’s Cove….below….