It’s official: The Cruz Bay roundabout is the center of the universe.

Apparently, the Virgin Islands government didn’t get the Fed’s memo that there is no hurry anymore to spend money replacing old road signs with new, easier to read, larger print ones.  Shiny, new signs are showing up everywhere.

Now you know where to stand if you want to be first in line when The Rapture comes.

This beautiful bay is one of the places where unusually large amounts of Sargassum seaweed has been accumulating. It backs up like a blanket as it comes into the bay before eventually being washed ashore.

It’s kind of cool up close. Take a look, below…

Today’s Lunch of the Week is the new Iguana Grill, across the street from Woody’s. (Both places call it friendly rivalry.)

Here we have a Corn Dog, a battered, quarter pound all-beef hot dog on a stick, for $5, along with fried pickles with a spicy dipping sauce for $5.

And a Blue Burger, a marinated hand made burger patty, char-broiled and served with blue cheese on a toasted bun with hand cut fries for $15. (Editor’s note: This is the best burger we’ve had on St. John. Must be the secret marinade.)

It’s best not to take Jacob’s Ladder lightly.  Gunning the engine up the hill on a sunny day is no big deal, but if it’s rainy and slick, sometimes even when it’s not, it’s a really good idea to wait at the bottom of the hill if there’s a big truck, or a tiny, two-wheel-drive rental car in front of you.

Jacob’s Ladder clocks in at 18-degrees at its steepest, three times the minimal definition of a steep grade. This is 18-degrees:

Speaking of Jacob’s Ladder, what has got to be one of the dumbest, most dangerous pedestrian crossings in the world is at the very crest of the hill.

Do people cross there? Yes. Look out for them. Do people actually walk up that hill?  We did it. Once. Handrail appreciated. We can cross that off the bucket list.

We’ve found a way to answer the question we’ve been asking ourselves since we first gunned the Jeep up Jacob’s ladder more than a decade ago.

Using the iPhone Carpenter app, applied to a known level surface like the window sill of the Jeep, or, when safe, getting out and checking the road itself, we’re measuring the grades on some of the island’s steepest inclines.

While this is probably not scientific, the app seems pretty accurate in tests…the draftsman triangle, the pitch of our roof, the angle a rum punch glass has when you’re taking that first sip…and so we’re going to assume it’s close.

We’ve already measured several well-known steep roads, and, while you’ll probably over-guess the actual numbers, keep in mind “steep grade” signs start showing up in the states on roads with grades as little as 6-degrees.  St. John’s steep ones are way over the top, by that measure.

We’ll do Jacob’s Ladder first. Want to take a wild guess at how steep it is?

This week’s rum punch comes from the hands of a famous, but camera shy bartender at Aqua Bistro in Coral Bay.

Anonymous famous bartender makes his with Cruzan dark and light rum, orange juice, pineapple juice and grenadine, with a Myer’s rum floater, a slice of lime on the rim and a free-floating cherry. In a real glass.

The Aqua Bistro rum punch: $6 all day long.

Say hello to Cassandra Moore, manager at Green Island Breeze, a clothing and accessories store above the St. John Market across from the Westin.

What store is that you say? Well, it falls under one of those ‘best-kept secrets’ things, and being a secret isn’t always a good thing.

Owners Wally and Ann Hobot, Minnesota teachers – one retired and one about to – discovered St. John years ago and decided it was the perfect place for their post retirement plan…to open a retail clothing business and reconnect with their backgrounds in fashion.

“We make it a point to choose garments, accessories and gifts that reflect the vibrant colors, relaxed atmosphere and enchanting ambiance of the Caribbean,” says Wally.

Green Island Breeze is a great store chock full of very nice merchandise, but Wally and Ann have one problem.

“Our patrons consistently tell us they’ve been coming to the island for years but didn’t know our store was here,” says Wally. “We’re trying to address that by getting the word out, offering discounts and developing our online store.”

Next time you’re in the neighborhood, stop and browse at Green Island Breeze. The inventory, much of it high-end, is a little different from other stores in St. John. And you can always shop online, here.

Here’s one of the downsides to a world of boozy undertones.

If you picked up a drunk who left a backpack in your car, save a relationship, give this dude a call. His name and number are on the note, tacked on the utility pole by First Bank for all of Cruz Bay to see.

(Click the picture to enlarge this tragic message.)

With 50 mph winds in the forecast this weekend, those brand new fans at JJ’s Texas Coast will probably not be needed.

But on calmer days, you’ll appreciate the oscillating breeze they blow your way while dining on the park.

Are new fans at JJ’s really news? Of course they are. It’s On-StJohn.com. And it’s September.

If you’re flying into St. Thomas in the next few weeks, look out the window when you get down low enough to distinguish the waves in the ocean.  You’ll see lots of big patches of brownish stuff floating in the water, around the islands and out in open sea.

It’s Sargassum seaweed and, while it’s not uncommon, we’ve never seen so much of it around the VIs.

It is not everywhere, but on St. John, Hart Bay is one of the areas where it has been accumulating, like a big blanket in the bay and washing up along the shore. (Click the picture above for a bigger look.)

It is harmless and, in fact, ecologically friendly insomuch as it supports a variety of marine life. We’ll take a beach break at Hart Bay next week and show you more.

Your restaurant choices are limited on St. John right now, with so many restaurants closing for low season during September.

When one reopens, it’ll have a new look. Another won’t be reopening at all.

Ocean Grill, at Mongoose Junction, is in the middle of  a facelift. “Ocean Grill will be even more beautiful after our annual refurbishment,” says a sign on the door. “We will reopen October 3.”

Meantime, Lucky Pagoda, the Chinese sit down and takeout at the Lumber Yard that opened in 2009, has closed for good. (Too bad. The takeout was tasty.)

“All good things come to an end,” says a sign on its door. “We will continue on our journey in the Pursuit of Happiness.”

The improvements at Maho Beach are actually very nice.

We all complain about change, but the renovated pavilion, brand new grills, covered picnic area and bathrooms are welcome additions.

The off street parking makes the area safer and, if there are fewer places to park, it just means fewer people on the beach!

Check out Maho Beach, below…